Are you trying to fight strangers at Italian restaurants?
Are you averaging 90 pull ups a minute?
Are you letting your chest hair out to breathe during nice dinners?
Do people find it off-putting when you eat your raw steak with your bare hands?
Are you constantly being told to "tone it down"?
Do you spend up to 4 hours a day admiring your body hair?
Are people terrified of taking selfies with you?
Are you upping your rep game significantly?
Do people ask you if you're your date's father?
Does your date think you're trying to wrestle her when you go in for a hug?
Do you consider your mouth to be a reasonable alternative to scissors?
Do you sometimes get so out of control that your friends have to contain you with full body restraints?
If you, or a friend, are exhibiting any of these beastly symptoms, please call your local zookeeper, and tune in to the ALL NEW Henry Danger Episode" Henry the Man-Beast" this Saturday, November 22nd at 8PM (7c), only on Nickelodeon!